Why I Don’t Enjoy S*x’- Muma Gee

Popular Nigerian Singer, Gift Iyumame Eke known as Muma Gee, has opened up on her sex life.

Muma Gee who is also a songwriter revealed that as a girl child, she was a victim of abuse while growing up.

Her words, ”Well, a few times. Because I am a girl child and a woman, attempts have been made even by my fellow female who claimed to be my friend, to abuse me. I did not know she was a lesbian, but of course, she did not succeed because I fought back with my life.

“Talking about males, yes, it has happened and it came from people I trusted. I have been harassed, but never been raped. Also, I am a victim of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and it has had emotional and psychological effects on me. I spoke to BBC about it and they asked if I was willing to speak as a celebrity about being circumcised and I am like why not? I have been keeping quiet about it based on ignorance. I must confess that, until I grew into a girl, I never knew that it had a big implication; but I just knew I grew up not chasing men. And no matter how ‘beautiful’ a man is, you can’t seduce me. Never! Unless I choose to get laid, no man can get me laid, even if it is rape! If you like, be Goliath, you won’t succeed! I remember growing up and my friends shared their feelings like, ‘I wish my boyfriend is around and he could just feel me’.

“I don’t feel that bullshit around me, and in my imagination I am like ‘are these girls okay?’ I did not know that these were natural things women experience, but was not happening to me. Now, the question would be ‘was I not having boyfriends before I got married and when I got married, how did I survive it?’ That is why I said that unless I am moved by a man’s affection for me, there is no way he could get me in bed. That feeling of being loved must radiate in me before I submit to a man.

“Aside that, I am not crazy about ‘man matter’ and I am not a lesbian either; I am a Christian and my upbringing will not allow that, but circumcision took its toll on me. Ironically, at first, it was working for me as a young girl because I wasn’t messing around. The only messing around I did was being too passionate about music. Back in secondary school, I was always involved in music and when I got back home, there were shows and I always wanted to showcase my talent, and my family felt I was going out to sleep with men. I don’t give a hoot about men. In fact, I don’t feel sexual urge.

“It is so difficult for me and I consider it a waste of time. Before I got married, I knew the duty of a woman was to satisfy her husband sexually and otherwise, so there was need to do that and have kids. In my culture, a woman cannot be barren; it is your duty to have kids. It took like three years after my marriage for me to have a baby. Those three years were spent on getting acquainted to the new system I was going into because I was not used to it. I won’t say I was a virgin at the time. By the time I got married and my marriage went sour, I chose to be celibate.

“Men just don’t matter to me when it comes to sex because I am circumcised. It may be negative in some way, but in some other way it has helped my life. So, I am a victim of what the girl child goes through because female genital mutilation is painful. Though, the practice is dying out, it is still being secretly practiced. These and more are the issues the Muma Gee Foundation will tackle.”

Asked if she would give marriage another chance, Muma Gee says, “People say ‘never say never’ but the black dungeon that that ex put me through made me go blank for men. For years, I lost it for men. It is difficult even though I am trying to revive myself; but you know what I say always, the grace of God is upon my life and I am learning again to see how I can give love a chance and how I can forgive men again.

“One guy made me hate men, and trust me, because of my spiritual belief and because I am on a spiritual mission on earth, God will always direct my steps; and if He says I should remarry, I will remarry. If He says I am not going to remarry, I am cool with that.

“Marriage for me was bondage; it is supposed to be a thing of joy, but I saw hell! In fact, as a tourist, the worst place I have ever been to was the London Dungeon. My marriage experience was worse than the London Dungeon, so just imagine me going back there. I am working on myself. I wish that I had a psychologist to work with. I see my kids growing everyday and they teach me a lot; and I am like a child again growing with them especially when I help with their homework.

“It is fun to me. We go swimming together. My only regret is that just one man made me hate the male folk. I am sorry to say that, but by the grace of God, I shall overcome and flourish and maybe, fall in love again and experience happy married life. I look forward to that because my dream about marriage had been to grow old with my spouse. And if God says yes, He will make that man available. But meanwhile, going back there will be like drilling a six-inch nail through my head,” the divorced mother of three who is also an actress explained.